god of war, god of pain
a speech, god of war ragnarok (2022)
god of war (2018) and its sequel, ragnarok (2022), are games that i feel like logically shouldn't exist. the original god of war trilogy were very straightforward games about a very angry man killing a lot of people in very violent ways. they were simple, hack n' slash style games with little emphasis on story and most of the fun coming from the action-packed gameplay. the story could be boiled down to a few sentences: kratos kills ares and becomes the new god of war because the olympian gods promise him that they will relieve him of the visions of his past that haunt him. turns out they were lying so he gets mad and kills literally all of them, and then kills himself too once he realizes he basically destroyed all of greece.
i was never really that fond of the original games (they are way too violent for me and i'm more of a peaceful/nintendo/pokemon kind of guy to be honest). however, i was still pretty shocked, along with the whole gaming world when santa monica studios revealed a follow up to the trilogy that basically flipped the entire formula on its head in 2018.
instead of a top-down hack n' slash, god of war (2018) was a cinematic saga told in one single camera cut without any loading screens, from a closer third person perspective that followed kratos. the emphasis was entirely on the story, and kratos was nearly unrecognizable compared to his original appearances. he was now a gritty, quiet old man who maintains a calm demeanor and only resorts to violence when him or his family are threatened. the game follows him and his son on a journey to scatter his late wife's ashes while he grapples with being a good father and reconciling the past atrocities he committed in greece.
the decision to flip the games on their head paid off incredibly and both god of war 2018 and ragnarok are some of the greatest games of all time. there are so many moments i could pick from these games that are beautiful: kratos acknowledging that he will always be a monster, but he is no longer controlled by athena/his past when he chooses to retrieve the blades of chaos to save his son; the climax of ragnarok where he sees a mural depicting his future as the guardian/rebuilder of hope following the destruction of asgard and is brought to tears seeing how far he has come; his complex relationship with thor and ultimate decision to spare him and try to help him avoid the path kratos once went down himself. these moments are so emotional that even christopher judge, the actor behind kratos,, was brought to tears while acting a few of them.
the one that hits the hardest, though, is the speech kratos gives to his younger self sitting atop the throne of ares. he chastises himself and expresses his disgust for his past self's actions, as if he's talking to another character entirely. we see him go through all his visceral emotions, from proclaiming that his past self is unforgivable in anger, to expressing deep sadness, to finally achieving calm and proclaiming as he takes his seat on the throne and replaces his past self that he is more than that.
to me, this scene is the first time that kratos truly accepts the progress he has made to better himself and atone for his mistakes. while we see other characters show faith in kratos' goodness over the course of the two games, i don't truly think that kratos ever forgives himself or believes himself to be better than he was, until this confrontation. i find his speech to be a beautiful proclamation that regardless of the mistakes we make, it is never too late to move forward. as kratos tells thor, no matter how hard we fall, there's only one path forward: "we must be better."
just another hero
a song by yuki hayashi, for "my hero academia"
i know it's become cringe to talk about my hero academia, but fanbase aside, i think it genuinely has some of the best written characters in all of anime. a perfect example of this is endeavor.
i've never really been a fan of the "vegeta" archetype that every anime seems to inevitably have, because i never feel like these characters are written to be sufficiently complex and i think their "edgy" factor is often exploited just to make them fan favorite characters and sell toys rather than adding genuinely compelling complexity to their character arcs.
vegeta himself first comes to earth to colonize it and wipe out the human race, has his saibaman kill one of the z fighters, and even years after he has his good guy redemption arc lets babidi control him and kills hundreds of people at the world martial arts tournament just to get a chance to fight goku head on. he faces 0 accountability or repurcussions for any of this, and the lattermost incident (which is by far the most egregious) literally isn't even mentioned again in the series at any point after.
refreshingly, endeavor doesn't suffer from this. the show doesn't pull its punches in showing his ugly side as an abusive father whose obsession with power destroys his family and has lasting effects on the events of the show. he even has to face actual consequences for his actions; his abuse drives his eldest son to insanity and turns him into what eventually becomes dabi, one of the most formidable villains in the series. even after he starts making efforts to repair his family and be present for his children, all is not magically forgiven. there's a huge moment in the final arc of the show (which i won't spoil for those still watching) where his actions still come back to bite him even after he's started his "redemption arc." i could write a whole piece just on how well written endeavor is.
my favorite part of his character isn't any of that though. it's instead how they highlight endeavor's most admirable quality: his relentless grit and determination to keep grinding. even though he never even comes close to all might's level of power, and knows that he never could, he never stops pushing himself. his "badass" moments in the show aren't showing off a new transformation or thrashing an enemy like most "vegetas." it's the moments where he's getting thrashed himself, but keeps pushing on. his fight with the nomu (where an instrumental of this song plays) highlight what make him a hero despite his flaws: his neverending determination to keep fighting and win.
"just another hero" doesn't romanticize being the best. it romanticizes the struggle of showing up even when you're not the best. i'm always reminded of a scene from the show where hawks is describing why endeavor has always been his favorite hero. it shows all might, the number one hero and by far the strongest character in the series, standing by himself with a huge chasm dividing him and the rest of the heroes. everyone is standing, watching him in awe, and cheering. everyone except endeavor, who is quietly putting wood and rocks together to start building a bridge across the impossibly wide chasm he knows he could never close.
as embarrassing as it is, i was really lost and unsure of where i was headed before i came to college. i was switching into a new field i had almost no experience in, wasn't sure if things would work out, and didn't really know what i would make of myself. i listened to this song a lot in that time as a reminder that all i could control was my own persistence. i really hope more characters start romanticizing the struggle of pushing yourself when it's hard, not just the feeling of being the best when you're at the top.